Kings and Queens.
Welcome back for the second installment of Kingly Love.
The world we live in today is one full to the brim with beauty to explore.
From a song on the radio that softens your soul or lights a fire in your belly,
To a sunset of beautiful caramel,
To (as some of you sexy kings and queens know) the gentle touch of a lover’s caress.
If you haven’t had that experience yet, that is okay. Your time will come, and rest assured that when it does happen for you, it is one of the greatest joys you will know in life.
Unfortunately, for all of the joy that such an experience offers, far too many of us are left to blindly fumble around, risking serious harm to ourselves and others; those that we care about the most.
Why, you ask?
Because we are not Taught about HOW to to navigate the realm of our sex and sexuality. Society as a whole (especially here in the U.S.) has taught us that Sex is something to fear or completely ignore altogether.
They would have you bottle up one of the most core aspects of what it means to be human and fit inside of a predetermined box that they have designated for you, only when they tell you you can have it.
This approach leaves a many young and even some old people still afraid of their bodies, simply because they were never TAUGHT. In our unwilling ignorance, we can become scared or angry, and cause ourselves and others a great deal of pain retrying to navigate it all.
In order to help illuminate a pathway for you to follow, or at least point out the potholes along your journey, here are the 6 areas where the Current Sex Education system falls a little short of the mark.
I will be presenting this in two parts: three today, and another three on Thursday.
1) It is Always Somebody Else’s Responsibility
Parents think schools should teach about sex. Schools thinks parents should. Both think the church should. If a school does try to teach it, some parents pull their kid out of class to NOT teach it.
Nobody can agree on whose responsibility it is to teach the next generation about sex. This leads to confusion, not knowing where to turn to ask even the simple questions like “what is a boner,” much less the hard questions like “why did he break my heart, daddy?”
This can lead a child to the only place where they can ask a question without fear of being judged:
More and more children, and as much as 60% of college children are turning to pornography as a form of education. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with pornography, the scenes depicted are theatrical.
They are for show.
They should not be your ONLY source of education.
Ironically, the worlds largest porn-producer in the world, Pornhub, has noticed this trend, and has risen to the occasion.
Realizing that nobody else would heed the call, they have created their own sex-education website, called the Pornhub Sexual Wellness Center. Here, they can read Q&As with a licensed sex therapist, read articles about sexual and relationship health, and even occasionally get a few steamy tips and tricks for those who want them. 😉
Some people might find that objectionable, to them I say…
Then WE need to teach our kids SOMETHING.
2) No Standardization
A slight offshoot of point 1, another glaring problem with the current system is that when schools do decide to teach sex Ed, the topics actually covered can vary wildly.
Out of all 50 states, only 22 require that Sex Education be mandated, and according to the Guttmacher Institute, only 13 states require that the information be MEDICALLY ACCURATE.
What is being taught in schools about sex… about what is means to be HUMAN… isn’t even based in truth.
Without a solid foundation of knowledge, how can we ever expect our children to practice WISDOM when dealing with matters of the body and heart, as is often the case with sex?
3) Abstinence-Only Education
I am not bashing on abstinence as a solid form of birth control. As a matter of fact, it IS the only 100% proven way to prevent pregnancy and STIs.
However, study after study have proven that Abstinence-Only Education does not actually lower the rate of sexual activity among teenagers. In fact, what this all-or-nothing approach does is increase pregnancy and STI rates, since the participants don’t know there are tools to help protect them.
Tools like Condoms (both In- and On-), Dental Dams, Birth Control, Diaphragms, Even the Pull-Out Method have all been shown to decrease risk of pregnancy.
But when you’re just told “don’t do it,” there is not a lot of wiggle room. Teens are still going to have sex, only now they are not protecting themselves. You are essentially sending them into battle with no armor.
Not to mention the psychological damage that can be caused to children. When we tell them “Having sex is bad. Don’t do it,” we run the risk of creating cognitive dissonance between what they have been told, and what feels good in their bodies.
Many stories have been told of young men and women who, raised in strict homes, could not consummate their love with their partner upon their wedding, because the psychological trauma of how they had been raised was creating roadblocks now that their sexuality was suddently “Okay.”
They become detached from their impulses, learn not to trust their senses, and can ultimately lead to problems when it finally is “appropriate” for them to begin being intimate.
These factors, along with the three other shortcomings we will discuss on Thursday, present some serious challenges for the individual trying to navigate the sea off possibilities.
However, there is hope, young Kings and Queens. There are always resources to find the answers you seek if you simply ask, and there are positive changes being made in the Sex Education field. We will discuss those at length next Monday.