Hello, Kings and Queens!
On Thursday I posted Part 1 of my personal history, about my formative years that have begun to lead me down my current path. Today we are continuing that saga, talking about the next hurdles I had to overcome in my development before I decided, “Hey, I want to teach SEX for a living.”
Late College Years (AKA: You’re an Asshole)
Understand that before I go any further, there is some overlap in the timeline from the last section into this one. For about a 1-2 years into this phase, I was trying to change and find a lasting approach to finding a partner, but I was still approaching it from the pickup artist mentality. I don’t truly step out of that phase entirely until the end of the Asshole Years here.
Toward the end of my freshman year of college, I had a girlfriend with whom I had my first experience with Intercourse. We had our time together, and then we ended.
I was upset.
Then I moved on.
And as I moved on, and began dating again, I noticed that some of the other girls I was dating had some similar trends.
While I was entirely FASCINATED with learning all I could about sex (even if only to try to be the ego-fueled “rockstar lover”), the people that I was seeing had very conflicting views, or there were things that I was taught or learned that they had never heard before.
And I began to notice a gap.
Both between what I knew and they didn’t, but also between what we both should have known, but didn’t.
This gap didn’t make sense to me.
So I set out to help educate the girls I was with.
But keep in mind, I was still using a “Pickup Artist” mindset, which only meant trying to manipulate external behaviors to get a surface result.
Now not only was I manipulating to get someone into bed, but now I was manipulating them once there. To what I wanted.
If you think this wreaked havoc for more than one relationship, you’d be right.
This is why I call this point in my life the Asshole Years.
The Loneliest Christmas Ever (It gets better, I Promise)
It all came to a head when one particularly tumultuous relationship ended a week before Christmas, two years ago.
I was shattered.
Then, on Christmas Eve, I had a breakthrough.
I will probably cover it in more detail at a future date, but it was this Christmas that I realized I needed to change me.
Not in a self-judgmental way, but with compassion.
And I realized that I had to treat all of my future significant others with that same compassion.
The “Secret” to finding the girl of your dreams isn’t some set of the right words, or the right cologne with pheromones to try to catch her attention.
The Secret is to be compassionate with your partner.
So I made some changes. To me. And it worked
Less than five months after having this epiphany, I met my current girlfriend of now two-years. And I have never been happier.
Because I show her compassion, even when it means I may not get what I want.
I hope some of what I said has resonated with you.
Maybe you’ve been through a similar experience,or maybe you were on the opposite end of my experience.
Maybe you’re searching for the partner of your dreams, but don’t like the shallow approach so many magazines and articles tout as the solution.
So much suffering is caused by a lack of proper information.
Such a lack greatly influenced me and my partners, though not always in a positive way. Sometimes, that left suffering in its wake.
My mission with this channel is to try to end that suffering, by educating people both with scientific fact, as well as my own experience to serve as an example.
Do I have specific qualifications? No, not yet.
But I want to make sure that nobody else has to suffer because they didn’t know any better.
And I hope you’ll join me.
If you liked this article, or know somebody that could gain value from it, please press the like button and share on social media. Also, check out my Youtube Channel. And If you have any suggestions or questions for future topics, please sound off in the comments section below.